Coldsteel's Racing Day
by st3v.j0bs
Summary: Coldsteel teh Hedgeheg faces off against Waluigi in the most epic wheelchair race of all time.


"TIME TO ROCK AND ROLLLLLLLLLLLLLL"

The scream of a middle-aged hedgehog could be heard miles away, as a blue-gray blur raced across an abandonned town. This blur was known throughout the planet Erth as the fastest wheelchair racer ever known. Wheelz teh hedgegod! Wheelz was bored partying with all the lady hedgehegs, so on a dark, cloudy he went on his wheelchair with rocket boosters to a random direction, and ended up in a burned out husk of a town.

Wheelz _explored_ that town very fastly. He practically flew across the cracked streets He went through the burnt husks that were once buildings. But what also happened that day involved Wheelz stumbling across something he shouldn't have gone.

It all began when Wheelz went inside one of the abandoned town's sewers. Racing on the walls and the ceiling, Wheelz screamed "YEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Unfortunately, a purple(cool kind not gay kind) hedgeheg heard Wheelz. The hedgeheg, who lived in the sewers, was lying in his black bed listening to nine inch nails (the band). When he heard Wheelz, the purple hedgeheg sighed. The purple hedgeheg was bored of killing all the hedgehegs who came into his dungeon in the sewers. So, the hegeheg took off his ear plugs, got out of his bed, and put on his earings. Putting on his earings reminded the purple hegeheg of khaoskid663, a fuckin pokemon scammer fagot who said that the earings where gurly. The purple hedgeheg cringed. Perhaps the hedgeheg he just heard racing down the sewer was khaoskid663. The thought made him smile, and so Coldsteel the hedgeheg opened his door and held out his foot to trip whoever was running down his sewer.

Wheelz the hedgegod tried to stop his wheelchair when he saw the foot, but he was just too fest. When the wheelchair and Coldsteel's foot connected, Wheelz and the wheelchair flipped over and skidded on the concrete sewer floor stained with poopoo and peepee. Wheelz grimaced and moaned in pain.

"psssh...nothin personnel...kid..." said Coldsteel, reciting his most famous quote.

Wheelz dragged himself back to his wheelchair and rolled to Coldsteel. Wheelz started to yell, "WHADDYA MEAN KI-" but then noticed who this purple hedgeheg was.

"WAIT A MINUTE! YOU'RE COLDSTEEL, AREN'T YOU?!" Wheelz asked.

"yep tahts me." said Coldsteel, looking quite pleased that a hedgeheg recognized him.

"YOU KILLED SONIC, YES?" Wheelz cried.

"yea he sucked" said Coldsteel.

"COME WITH ME, LITTLE ONE! I WILL TELL YOU OF MY LIFE." Wheelz said, taking Coldsteel's shoulder with his hand and leading him to his bed.

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And so, Wheelz the hedgegod told Coldsteel teh hedgeheg about his life. Wheelz, or Duncan "Wheelz" Irving, was born n eggman's laboratory were he was the child of eggman and amy. Eggman brutal raped amy and then killed her!

"I like this story," commented Coldsteel.

Once, he was close friends wit sonic but got in an arguent about who was the better COD player. Sonic was real butthurt and shot wheelz in the leg...

"AND EVER SINCE THEN, I HAS BEEN NOT ABLE TO WALK, THOUGH I CAN STILL USE MY DICK," said Wheelz. "SO YOU SEE, COLDSTEEL, I HAVES TO THANK YOU FOR KILLING SONIC IN THE FINAL BATTEL AGAINST SHADOW."

"Hmph. Sonic reminded me of my dad." said Coldsteel. "I dislikse him."

"SO, SINCE I AM NOW AN AGING MIDDLE AGED HEGEGOD, I WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW TO WHEELCHAIR RACE ON MY TURBO EXAUST MEGAFLAME SPITTER MOTOR," said Wheelz. "BACK WHEN SONIC WAS STILL ALIVE I COULD BARELY BEAT THE BLUEHEDGEHEG."

"Pfff...sure thing kiddo..." said Coldsteel.

So, for the rest of that day, Wheelz taught Coldsteel how to ride a wheelchair in the abandoned town. Wheelz was sitting in a burned lawn chair. Because Coldsteel was born with a special power, he was stronger than all of Wheelz's previous students. Coldsteel was, of course, immideately perfecto with Wheelz's custom wheelchair. He didnt even put on the **seatbelt** cuz he didnt need to!

"WOW COLDSTEEL IM IMPRESSED" said Wheelz.

"Psssh...no problms...Wheelz..." wheezed Coldsteel as he skidded across the sidewalk.

It takes presissely 11 years to master the art of wheelchair racing. Every day Wheelz say his student grow as much as his new beard, and Wheelz was proud. One day, Wheelz was sitting on his lawn chair, which he painted gray to look like his wheelchair, when Coldsteel accidentely gouged the skull of Wheelz while he was practicing. Even though Wheelz was his master for 11 years, Coldsteel felt nothin.

"Pshh...thenks for teachin me...feggit..." whispered to Wheelz's corpse. It was long time for Wheelz to die anyway. After all, hedgehegs only live for 2-5 yrs. But Coldsteel was born with imortality so he didnt care.

Coldsteel picked up his new wheelchair painted to look like motorcycle and set off into the world to look for his true nemesis.

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Coldsteel only had one true nemesis, other than khaoskid663. He hated him more than anything. Back when he was in the sonic fighting academy, a human boy known as Kevin Robinson shared Coldsteel's deviantart with everyone else in his class! Coldsteel retaliated with a badass drawing of Coldsteel flipping Kevin Robinson off, with the famous quote "kevin robinson from school: fuck you kevin stop showin evryone my fuckin devianart you peace of shit." Needless to say, it didn't work. But, now that Coldsteel has learned the art of Wheelchair racing and turned to the darkness, he can really show Kevin Robinson how powerful Coldsteel truly was.

At first, Coldsteel searched among the scattered remains of the sonic military bases, looking for clues. Then, he sought out the sonic fighting academy, which was still smoking from shadows bombs.

"Where are you kevvinnnnnnnnn?!" screamed Coldsteel.

A year passed before Coldsteel found some traces of Kevin Robinson from school, and found he died in the final battel against shadow. _God fuckin damnit now I need a new nemeis to fite. _Fortunately for Coldsteel, his wish will come true.

One day, Coldsteel was chillin at a Haloween carnival while listenin to some punk rock and checkin out the hot gurls with big boobys who are in sluty wich costumes. Coldsteel's eyes darted from person to person, until he saw a strange Italian who was cheatin at football(the soccer versoin) while showin intense happiness. _Happiness and football. Two of the things I dislikse_, thought Coldsteel.

Coldsteel walked up to the footbal game and used his ninne inch nails (on finger) to slice the throats of all the players, except for the cheater.

"you piss me offf..." muttered Coldsteel.

"WAAAAAAAA?!" screamed a confused Waluigi. "WHO DAFUQ ARE YOUUU?!"

"teh names Coldsteel..." said Coldsteel.

Waluigi noticed all the dead bodies on the floor. "NOBODY CHEATS BETTER THAN WALUIGI! YOU GOT THAT?!" screamed Waluigi.

"heh... prove it" said Coldsteel.

Waluigi then jumped on his super bike and crushed a bunch of kids who were on the jumpy castle. After he crashed on the castle, Waluigi used the jumping castle to launch himself and his bike into a land whale who was muching on five hundred ice cream cones.

"AW WADDAFUCK MUH SOGGY KNEE" hollered the land whale.

"Waluigi wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!" yelled Walguigi, as a crowd of costumed festival peoples gathered around and cheered him on.

"Oh not so fast," said Coldsteel. "You gonna have to get past me to be the winer"

"WAH HAH HAH WAAAH!" battlecried Walguigi as he dove at Coldsteel. Coldsteel was ready, through. First, he shoved his ninne inch nails into Waluigi's knee, tripped him, and snapped his other knee. It was faster than a lick of the now deceased land whale. While killing and hurtin people is one of his favorite things, Coldsteel thought it was to boring to kill Waluigi.

"Your to weak to kill lol" said Coldsteel as he walked away badassely "better luck next time."

"Wahh, Waluigi lose? Impossible!" winced Waluigi as an ambulance arrived. "You'll pay for this!" yelled Waluigi to Coldsteel. Coldsteel simply smirked as a bunch of hot gurls with big boobys who are sluts lustily followed him.

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Coldsteel saw that all the many hedgehegs who were at the Halloween festival were sad that Coldsteel was getting allthe hot gurls nd that made him feel badass in a good baddasely badass. While he was walkin through the carnival with his new friends, they found a sign.

"DIS WAI 2 TAILS'S HANTED HAUS!" read the sign. "OMG LAWL DIS SHULD BE GOOD" said one of the hot gurls slowly licking her black ice cream. "ugh fine" said Coldsteel. Wile hot gurls have big boobys they sure can be fukin anoying.

Fortunately, the sign lead them to the right place. Coldsteel assumed that it was supposed to be a hanted haus, but it totally didn't look like it. It was pink, bright, and had colorful flowers growin around everywhere. Was more like a doll haus for lil girls. Coldsteel hated it soooooo much but becuz the hot gurls with big boobys wanted to go inside he was like "fine"

So they go the hanted haus and in it was a lot of spooky Walmart halloween decorations. "ohh I am so spooked" said the hot gurl named Lexi "pff I aint scared" said Coldsteel. Suddenly, but then Tails jumped out at Coldsteel with a scaaary Sonic costume. "rarararara I am Sonic back from the deaaaad" screamed Tails. All the hot gurlz with big boobys all died of heart attacks right there. Coldsteel stared at Tails loathingly.

"Ok wat the fuck you killed my girlfrends im gonna pop you little bitch."

"LOL u got troled" said Tails with his eyes closed.

When Tails opened his eyes again he gasped. "OMG YUR COLDSTEEL" yelled Tails.

"yeep thats me" said Coldsteel.

"i recommended u for sonics personnel military and u killed him u bastard!" screamed Tails as he dive kicked at Coldsteel

"oyea thnks for that" said Coldsteel getting up "now im pised off"

and right then and there one of those electronic brains on a wheelchair toys from wallmart bumped into Coldsteel. Coldsteel looked down and picked up the cheap spooky toy. It reminded him of Wheelz the hedgeheg. Coldsteel shed a dark black tear when he remembered that fateful day when Wheelz dided.

"HAHAHA LOL U R CRYING" yelled Tails.

Coldsteel opened his eyes badassely.

"this world is too cruel and doomed and im the one to save it" said Coldsteel as his hand dove out to tails's chest and took out his heart and replaced it with the brains on wheelz.

"NOOOOOOO-" bellowed tails as he gasped his last gasp.

"pshhhh. You were too slow for sonic's hart Tails shulda made a move lol" saidd Coldsteel.

As Coldsteel turned to walk away, Tails's limp body stood upright. Coldsteel turned around, shocked yet mildly pleased. Tails's eyes started glowing, and his mouth started to move. But the voice that came out wasn't Tails's, but it was Wheelz'z!

"MY APPRENTICE HOW GREAT IT IS TO SEE YOU AGAIN" said the voice of Wheelz in Tails's body

"Wheelz I only mildly apologize for causing your death only mildly cause it was fun to paint satan symbols with your blood" said Coldsteel.

"LOL FUNNY THATS SO BADASS COLDSTEEL YOU HAVENT CHANGED." said Wheelz. "BUT LISTEN I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME I HAD A VISION IN WHEELCHAIR HEAVEN THAT A GREAT WHEELCHAIR RACE INVOLVING YOU IS GOING TO START SOON." said Wheelz.

"What?!" said Coldsteel

"YEA SO YOU SHOULD GO TO THE HOSTPITAL TO GET A WHEELCHAIR SO YOU DONT SHOW UP WITH NOTHING AND WALK HOME LIKE A PUSSY" said Wheelz

"I aint no pussy lol" said Coldsteel.

"THEN GO GET A WHEELCHAIR AND TELL THOSE STOOPID ABLE-BODIED PEOPLE AND BLACKS THAT ILL FUCKIN HAUNT THEM" said Wheelz

"k dnt worry about it bye Wheelz" said Coldsteel

"FAREWELL COLDSTEEL. MAY THE WHEE-" Tails's body slumped to the floor.

"well time to get myself a wheelchair and spraypaint it with skulllz and purple(cool kind not gay kind" said Coldsteel walking away from the pink Hanted Haus(which was starting to smell like a lot of dead bodies had an orgy).

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Coldsteel was walkin down the street to the hostpital stroking his earrings listenin to sum good ol nine inch nails(the band) while likin his nine inch nails(on finger). It tasted like skulls and motorcyclez(he lieks whelchairs beter but he also lieks punk rock paints on motorcycles). Hes cruisin down and down and bein badass wen sudenly he stoped. He thot he saw sum1 familiar in the corner of his eyez turn out he did!

At the left of the street he was walkin on was a outside resteraunt. And siting at one of these tails was Coldsteels best frend Blood Edge The Hedge Hog! Blood Edge wuz eatin his favorite foods Pizza and Hamburgers with his katanas wile talkin to a Large Breasted Women. Coldsteel walked up to Blood Edge.

"yo sup Blood Edge mah homie" said Coldsteel. "rember wen we played dante from the new devil may cry together?"

"heh, No Swet of my back kiddo" he was saying to the large breasted women. Then he said to Coldsteel "dude fuck off I dislikes friends (they disapoint me) and I hate ALL THE HEDGEHOGS!1!" said Blood Edge. Then, Blood Edge recognized Coldsteel. "But I remembr u Coldsteel u cool"

"2 lone wolfs without a family meetin eech othr aftr sevral yeers so cul" said Coldsteel. "hao did u nd mariah wrk out"

"omg I hate mariah who say they like you but then leave you for doug in grade 7. I had to turn into demon form when she betrayd me seriously f*** mariah" said Blood Edge

"yea hot gurls with big boobys r cul but they r also dum cum on with me les go to the hostpital to get my wheelchair" said Coldsteel

"k fine" said Blood Edge getting up.

So now Coldsteel and Blood Edge wer both walkin down the street 2 the hostpital. Coldsteel was stil listenin to NIN wile Blood Edge was playin wit his katanas. Den dey arived at the hostpital(finally1) and Coldsteel was abuot 2 get his wheelchair when sudenly Waluigi roled up 2 him in a wheelchair looking quite mad.

"WAAAAAA! YOU BROKE MY LEGS OFF AND NOW IM ON A WHEELCHAIR" screamed Waluigi.

"heh kiddo" said Coldsteel wile Blood Edge lmfao'd.

"BUT UNFORTUNATLY FOR U I KNO HAO TO WHEELCHAIR RACE AND I CHALLENGE YOU TO A WHEELCHAIR RACE!"

The room stood silent. All the doctors, nurses, and patients all looked onwards with a surprised look in their eyes and mouth. Some say that this was the moment that the world snapped, and the corpse of Wheelz screamed "ITS ON FUCK YEA"

"fine I acept ur chalenge itll b a peese of cake lol" said Coldsteel.

"WEEEE SHALL SEEEEEE" said Waluigi.

Everyone in the room then fainted because of the sheer intensity.

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After everyone in the room recovered from the intensity of the situation, Hedgeheg City(wich is the city the hospital are at right now) began to prepar for the bigest event of theyr lives. The hedgehegs were building the race tracks while reciting their lines. "I Will set you in fire stupid gay." said a Age: 12 hedgeheg who looked like he was on fire. "heheh" said a blue hedgehog who kind of looked like Egoraptor while holding a knife. This race track was to be made by the most respectable Sonic OCs.

Wile the preparations were bein made, Coldsteel wuz trainin. He was goin supr sonik wheelz speeds on hiz wheelchair wile he wuz in the very abandoned town that Wheelz the hedgegod trained him in. "ill b prepard" said Coldsteel, remembring evrythin Wheelz taught him. Waluigi, meenwile, wuz usin his wheelchair in Mario Kart 8 nd wuz reckin evryone. "aye kurrrrrr" said two Miis(name Allan and Nicole) on one kart as they fel to their deths togethr :( vry sad nicole (c dats hao meen Waluigi is)

k so aftr Coldsteel nd Waluigi are pumpd up nd the city of Hedgeheg City wuz prepd up Coldsteel nd Waluigi both got on their wheelchairs. "pfff I hat hedgehegs so muhc" said Blood Edge.

"START YUR WHEELZZZZZ" said the twon mayr Kucklez

Coldsteel nd Waluigi both put their hands on their wheel movrs. Coldsteel lokd up at the cleer blu sky. Coldsteel hated it so muuhc but he didn t car. Today was gonna be **Coldsteel's Racing Day**.

Coldsteel loked at Waluigi nd Waluigi lokd at Coldsteel. Ther wuz hat in Waluigi's eyez. Sudenly waluigi sad "WALUIGIII GONA WINNNNNNN" nd sped of in2 the rase trak ahed of Coldsteel. Waluigi was cheating! Coldstel didnt like it and strted rite aftr him with a furios look in hiz eyes because he wuz mad at the wlrd fr cheeting.

"GOOOOO!" scremed Kucklez at the top of his lungs. "Oh wait they are already gone fuk I hate coldsteel but I dont care if he killed sonic and tails lol they suked" and he got out some weed nd started getting high

Meenwhile the race was getting reely heeted(not gay way). The race track wuz actualy 1000 miles long wich is the standard for competititve wheelchair races. Waluigi wuz ahed of Coldsteel nd puld out his bananas from Mario Kart and wuz leavin them behind fr Coldsteel to slip on.

"WAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA" said Waluigi menacingly.

But Coldsteel had a trick up his sleev 2(even tho he dosnt have a shirt lol). You see, he was pickin up all the banana peels with his nine inch nails and had a big scoop of bananas in his lap whiile steering on the race trak. Den Coldsteel rode up right next to Waluigi.

"Yo" said Coldsteel

"WADDYA WAANT?!" said Waluigi while keepin his eyes on the track

"got a presnt for ya its your presents!" said Codlsteel "mary fukmas 2 u LOOOOOL" nd rite den and ther Coldsteel droped al hiz banans he was savin up right into Waluigi's wheelz.

"NOOOOO" yelled Waluigi as the bananas in his wheels clogged up and Waluigi crashed and burned to hiz deth on the race track. Meenwhile Coldsteel wuz goin faaaster and faster. Den he went so fast he was 3x the speed of light and finished the race in a SECOND WOWWEE. It was rite ther that Coldsteel broke Wheelz's wheelchair racing record and became the most famos and pro wheelchaire racer EVR. "IM SO PROUD YEAH" said the ghost of Wheelz the hedgegod.

At the finis lien everyone in Hedgeheg City wuz waitin for the winer. Wen Coldsteel finihsed they all cheered "YAAAY NO MORE WALUIGI TO CHEET AND NEW RECORD HOLDER YOUR OUR HERO COLDSTEEEEEEL!"

ther wuz 1 problem though. If you remember, Coldsteel really dislikse niceness, happiness, his dad(who wuz in the crows shedin a tear). Also he saw khaoskid663(teh kid ho shared Coldsteel's deviantart). So this mad him reely mad!

So what did Coldsteel do? He pulled out both of his custum pistols while still sittin in his wheelchair and shot evryone in Hedgeheg City untl evry1 wuz ded. Even his onlee frend Blood Edge died from the carnage. Wen Hedgeheg City was silent Coldsteel threw away his smokin pistols wile drivin his wheelchair into the sunset, to nevr be seen again. Coldsteel then yelled badassely

"**PSHHH...NOTHIN PERSONNEL...KIDDOS..."**


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